The Chub Rock's Blog

This guy is PURE comedic genius. It's unfortunate that many of you do not know who he is and even more unfortunate that he recently passed away on March 30, 2005. Here is a link of what claims to be the largest video collection of Mitch's performances on the Internet.

However, I would also ask that you go to the iTunes music store and download his Comedy Central special, which is listed under TV shows. This special can also be found on the above link, but you should have it permanently on your iPod or whatever media device you have. It is undoubtedly the funniest stand-up routine that I HAVE EVER SEEN.

For those that do know who he is, and lesser so, for those that don't, below is a short bit, that is right now, my favorite of his:

"I bought a donut and they gave me a receipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut - I'll just give you money and you give me the donut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend? "Don’t even act like I didn't buy a donut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's back home in the file... under 'D', for donut."

I'd be remiss to not credit my boy Style for introducing me to Mitch on our plane ride to my bachelor party in New Orleans a few weeks ago. It was on Style's video iPod that I first witnessed this PURE comedic genius.

Mitch, you'll live on with us forever and I can only hope that new material of yours continues to appear similar to Tupac and Biggie.

It will be interesting to see how the NFL rules on the proposed modificiation to the jersey numbering system as requested by the Reggie Bush Camp.

In 1973, the league crafted a numbering system so officials could better recognize players by their positions. Quarterbacks are allotted Nos. 1 through 19. Running backs wear Nos. 20 through 49, and wide receivers and tight ends wear Nos. 80 through 89.

Although Bush has worn No. 5 since high school, NFL rules do not permit running backs to take that number. In fact, in 2004, Edgerrin James unsuccessfully petitioned for No. 5, the number he wore at the "U".

For comparision, the NBA rules USED TO BE that numbers 1 & 2 were illegal as was any number greater than 5. The reason was that officials have five fingers on each hand with which to signal to the scoring table (a) the number of the player who committed the foul and (b) 1 0r 2 fingers to indicate the number of free throws. Obviously that has since changed as evidenced first by Dennis Rodman (#91), and now among others, Drew Gooden (#90), Ron Artest (#93) and Tracey McGrady (#1).

Will the NFL follow suit??

I first thought yes, they definitely will because it will be a source of additional revenue, but then I thought why would that create additional revenue? Jerseys will be bought whatever number he wears. So then I'm thinking no, they won't, being that the NFL has long been an acronym for the No Fun League and combining that with the recent rumors of the league's desire to do away with the touchdown dances of late.

As Commissioner Tagliabue enters his final year as the Commish, perhaps this will be one of his lasting policies to remain in-place. Actually, given Paul's recent actions at the draft, I am now leaning towards no change in the NFL numbering system. For those that didn't see or don't watch as closely as I do, what happened was as #1 pick Mario Williams was afixing his new Houston Texans lid tight over his head, the Commish obtrusively tilted Mario's cap upward in preparation for the standard photo opp so that you could see Mario's face. It really was classic.

Peter King, of CNNSI, views:

THE DECISION:

I enjoy reading books, sometimes. I think many people do. But sometimes it seems that these books are cataloged in libraries, bookstores and of course the internet purely for our enjoyment, entertainment and education. Rarely do I think or recognize that these books are written by real people, just like us. But in my defense, I don't acknowledge or personalize the hard work of authors because I DON'T KNOW ANY.

According to the New York Times, there's a new book published in the United States every half an hour, and - wait for it - that's just fiction. RR Bowker, the company that compiles the Books in Print database in the USA, has calculated that no fewer than 175,000 new titles were published in 2003. That's one book roughly every 20 seconds.

Granted, as you get older, your exposure to different types of people, and more specifically, other peoples' careers diminishes. You get lost in your profession, your family, your sports teams, your movies or just yourself. Sure, you may hear about an author speaking at a local bookstore and you may even sit in if you're interested, but in my experience, I have never heard "Oh, Dean, he is such a jerk. When we grew up together, he used to tell lies about me so the other kids wouldn't like me," or "Oh, Agatha is such a sweetheart. We were hanging out the other day and she stopped and had a 10 minute conversation with a homeless person." I don't know where I just made up those two quotes, but the point is hopefully clear.

I mean, I don't think I even have a friend who knows an author personally. I cannot say, "Oh, my friend Mike is friends with Neil Strauss," or something like that. Now, I may just live in a sheltered world, but I'd love to hear anyone's comments about their personal experience or relationship with a published author - fiction, non-fiction, hell, I'll even take text book authors. For the amount of published material out there, you'd think I (or we) could do better.

And by the way, Jeff Bezos, the CEO and founder of Amazon.com graduated from my high school in the late '70's and was the valedictorian.

For a long time now, I've been wondering why assists are called "dimes" in the sport of basketball. I've asked friends, colleagues and even media personalities, but never received a response that was satisfying to me. So I decided to spend a little time and do my own research. There is nothing that is absolutely conclusive, but below are some interesting facts and perspectives related to the multi-dimesional term "dime."

First, it appears that the term "dime" was labeled as such because it contained one-tenth of the precious metal as the old silver dollar. You see, coins were made by size according to how much precious metal they contained. The 50-cent coin contained half as much silver as the dollar, the quarter had one-fourth as much, and the dime one-tenth as much.

Back to sports though and why assists are called "dimes." Although there is nothing conclusive about the origin of the term "dime," it appears that it is loosely based on an idiom that goes back to a time when making a telephone call cost only a dime. In fact, to "drop a dime on someone" was to tell the police about someone's criminal activities. However, in relation to basketball and taking into account that it used to cost a dime to "call someone up," it seems logical that this is why the term "dime" became widely used for a pass or an assist, as you are effectively "calling someone up." I find it amusing that a term so commonly used does not have a true origin or beginning, but yet there's a magazine named after it, Dime Magazine, an NBA player's fan club named after it, Team Dime, who's jersey number is aptly #10, and a football defensive scheme, the Dime Package.

In football, the Dime Package is a defensive scheme where the defense puts 6 cornerbacks on the field in anticipation for a passing play. See the correlation? But, which came first, the dime as an assist or the dime package as a defense against passing? I'd guess the dime as an assist. However, there is yet more ambiguity when it comes to the Dime Package because a Nickel Package in football is a scheme where there are 5 cornerbacks or defensive backs on the field. This seems to make sense because 5 DB's and a nickel being worth $.05 cents are congruent. But a Dime Package is 6 DB's and a dime is not worth $.06 cents?? The etylmology is confusing. There is some theory out there that suggests the Dime Package is named as such because it is employed when the offense needs to get more than 10 yards (or more than a dime's worth). Yet others explain the Dime Package terminology in football as being because there are two Nickel backs on the field when a Dime Package is called, and 5+5=10.

The multi-dimensional term "dime" continues as it also happens to refer to $10 dollars worth of grass or other drugs (i.e. a dime bag). And in gambling terminology, a dime line is where there is a 10% charge to the house for taking your bet (should you lose). And when you bet a "dime," it means you are betting $1,000. Betting a "dime" is in the same vein as the old $.10 cent phone call (dropping a dime) being that bettors and bookies alike would prefer, if they happened be tapped or bugged, to be discussing the wagering of nickels and dimes, and not $500 dollars or $1,000 dollars.

So there it is - a lesson on the dime. Now, "stop on a dime" and re-read this because there is a lot to learn and think about.

Practical jokes are a common practice on April Fool's Day. Sometimes, elaborate practical jokes are played on friends or relatives that last the entire day. April Fool's Day is a "for-fun-only" observance. Nobody is expected to buy gifts or to take their "significant other" out to eat in a fancy restaurant. Nobody gets off work or school. It's simply a fun little holiday, but a holiday on which one must remain forever vigilant, for he may be the next April Fool! - Various Internet sources

I enjoy April Fool's Day, always have and hopefully always will. This year my April Fool was a good friend we'll call SAN. With the help of his girlfriend, SAN's car was stolen late Friday night, the night before April 1st. And when SAN woke up and went to his parking garage to drive to breakfast the next morning, his car was missing! Oh no SAN, what happened to your car? Where did it go? Was it towed? Stolen? Or are you too confused to even deal with it? You better go to the front desk and get some help.

And so he went, with his girlfriend by his side, to the front desk and subsequently out the building's main entrance to see me with a camcorder and G$ in his car. Boy, those must of been some long minutes huh, SAN. I captured it, in part, on video, and am working to upload it as soon as possible. Happy April Fools!

Did you know that Babe Ruth wore number 3 because he was the third hitter in the lineup; in 1929, the Yankees became the first team to make numbers a permanent part of the uniform. Earle Combs led off so he wore No. 1, followed by Mark Koenig #2, Ruth, Lou Gehrig #4, Bob Meusel #5, Tony Lazzeri #6, Leo Durocher #7, Johnny Grabowsfoki #8, Benny Bengough #9, and Bill Dickey #10. While other teams began putting names on the backs of jerseys in the 1960s, the Yankees did not follow the trend. No Yankee has ever had their name on the back of a Yankee jersey in a game.